I am learning to be like this: “I am what I am; irrespective of what/how you are to me” recently. And it does help a lot in maintaining clarity and peace of mind. Above all, I don’t need to loose myself in/for anything!
Many of us are very reactive in nature. We can’t be quiet when some one bullies us or tries to humiliate us. We REACT: either we throw back something and try to humiliate them back or we take them all in and feel sad. Either ways, we do react. But how long can we react like this? And how much happiness can we derive from this kind of ‘reaction’?
At one point or another, we might end up thinking “Why am I doing this? Am not I AM anymore! Where the hell did MY sense go?”. If we go on and on reacting to our environment, we might loose our true identity. Of course, one needs to be clear about what kind of identity he seeks in order to figure out whether he is loosing his identity or not.
What is the whole point in reacting to people? By reacting, ultimately I let them win. If someone is misbehaving to me and if I misbehave back just to take revenge, I am becoming like them. They win by making me also do things which I normally wont do. What do I actually gain by reacting and misbehaving back? I loose my peace of mind; I loose my clarity by doing something unnatural for me, I loose my self-integrity and above all my happiness. After loosing all these I can never feel good about my reaction.
It has to be understood clearly that, that because I don’t react it does not mean I approve their actions. In fact, it is only by reacting I will be approving them in one way or the other. However you are, whatever you are I will be myself. JUST MYSELF. In that way, I get least affected by any sort of external disturbance and also I show my disapproval in the most sensible way. I don’t need to loose my peace of mind for someone else.
The more strong I am in my concepts and beliefs (which forms my identity), the more peaceful I will be. It is not enough just to know/believe in something good. You got to be strong in that and be clear about what you are. Else, you can’t stay ‘yourself’ till the end.