It would be easy if people are bad around you!

It would be easy if people around you are actually bad. You think I am crazy?

Imagine situation like this:
You are a small boy wanting to go to school. You are from very poor family. Your parents are real selfish and they do not care about your growth. So they just want to send you to work and they wont let you study. You can easily blame them for not studying. You can escape from the situation that you are not actually responsible for your situation.
But imagine the same kind of situation except that the parents are also very nice. They want you to study but still they can’t afford it. They try their best but they can’t afford it. Wouldn’t that pain more than the previous situation?

Another case:
Imagine your boy friend ditches you purposefully. You are disappointed and depressed. But your depression would be expressed as ANGER and you will curse him. And I think you can even recover from that situation much faster because you may not want to be just crying all through your life because of a jerk!
But imagine the same thing, if your boy friend is really good and he loves you as much as you love him. And still he is forced to leave you – the situation is like that. Would n’t this kind of situation more time for you to recover from?

When people are bad around you, you can calm your mind easily and get out of a bad experience faster. You think you are good, you think you are not responsible for this and somehow you manage to come out of it. Your depression is turned as anger on someone else and it prevent from going into depression. This is what explained as PROJECTION in classical psychology. In one way or the other you escape from the situation and defend yourself.

But the same thing would be more painful or easily lead to depression when you see that every one around is good. You will start asking questions like “Why such thing to me alone? Every one is good, we are good but still we are not happy! etc.. etc..” It easily will lead to depression and would take more time to recover from! When everyone is good, you take more responsibility of your situation and that is why it pains more. And this is again the same reason why many people do not want to understand that people are good around you. They want to blame others. They want to project their problems on others and want to escape from the situation.

It really takes a lot of conscious efforts from one self to understand the situation as it is and accept that people around are really good and still one has to face problems. There is no answer for “why I should be born in India in a poor family who cannot afford to send me to school!” It is difficult to calm your mind in such situations.

It indeed takes lot of courage, wisdom and strength to face problems as they are without (projecting on some thing else) blaming someone or escaping from the responsibility of life. So, if people are really bad around you, it simplifies your problem statement to some extent. You dont need to worry too much about certain “why” questions! 😉

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