I am not really fond of going out for parties every week or hang out with a group all the time or keep munching about ‘happenings’ and so on.. Nevertheless, my socializing skills are not in the lacking side! I can communicate my ideas very well when needed and also understand others needs as well.
But, I would say I realized the importance of possessing some socializing skills recently when I forced to hang out with a person whose social life is kind-of impaired. As far as I know, the person’s life was highly restricted to just playing few games online, reading books, watching movies – mostly things which one can do without any interaction with others. To get the idea clearly – he is a kind of person who will charge you if you want to listen to his voice or see him smile! (No No! Its definitely not that great voice nor that sweet smile! 😉 )
Earlier, I respected this attitude very much – “the talk less, work more attitude”. Even now, I do. But, now when I hanged out with the person for a while, I could see how much handicapped one’s mind can get when they live alone and don’t move with people at all!
Can you imagine this: We both went out to restaurants for dinner. But never spoke a word apart from ordering food. The first 2 days, I tried a lot to get engaged in some conversation. But then, it was really tiresome! It is definitely not interesting when it is going to be some kind of question & answer session and not really a conversation!
Also, I don’t think this person ever appreciated that I am spending my time (which I would have otherwise spent with my husband and family) with him just for giving him a company. At some point of time, I had to even say that explicitly. He made me speak things very blunt or kind of discourteous which I normally wouldn’t do – not really to an outsider!
I could see that the level of “Empathy” or understanding can get considerably reduced when you are going to live with your own self. You need at least one person extra in your life to cope up with. That’s the bare minimum necessity if you want to stay healthy mentally!
I guess, the family system in India is mainly for that purpose – when you live with more people, you tend to understand the needs and likes of others and you might probably tend to ‘adjust’ and ‘cope’ with others. This is very much required for a normal human being. Again, I am not really going for losing one’s identity in the name of adjustment or flexible. But, you can’t get so oblivious to miss out certain obvious things around you as well!
Have you ever met such ‘socially-impaired’ (Wow! That’s a nice term! Isn’t it? 😉 ) people in your life? What kind of experience you have had with them? Was it easy to handle them or how did you mange?