I am seeing in this in my real life.. Like, when your life circle is really big, your worrying index is low.
I used to think when your circle of life becomes bigger, you will be complicating your life with too many problems! But on the contrary, I see people with bigger circle of friends or family or community or whatever seems to have lesser worries in their life.
My husband has definitely a bigger circle of friends and family than mine. And my dad has even more bigger than my husband’s. And I have a bigger circle than my mom. I see my dad is really happy, carefree most of the times! He doesn’t worry about anything or people! Of course he is not blessed with meeting all ‘right’ kind of people who behave very nicely to him. But even if someone doesn’t, it doesn’t affect him much! And so is the case with Sri (my husband). To be honest, my happiness index is somewhat lower than Sri’s. I do get worried about things easily. Maybe I don’t hang over them all the time! But I am inflicted with worries many times! More often than Sri. My mom and other moms of her age have all the time in the world just to keep worrying about something or the other! Given the fact that she has been a house wife all along, of course she would have more time to think, re-think, analyze and write a thesis on why someone behaved in a such way or whatever!
Okay, there is this “men” thing and “woman” thing but still even within men and within women, I do see the difference in the happiness based on how busy they are and how big their life circle really is.
I think this is mainly because
Greater acceptance / Increased ignoring ability
With increase in the number of people you interact, you either understand really that people ARE different; their MINDS are different and its just the way the world is. Its like maybe, you really do get mature that you are able to accept the world as it is without any expectations or your ego getting hurt. Or at the bare minimum, you learn to ignore those who you don’t like so that you don’t pick up any trouble / negative energy from people.
You get too busy to worry!
Yea.. When you are really busy with lot of stuff already going on in mind, you hardly find time to analyze things – Like why someone said that or why some one didn’t say this or why such a thing happened and all such pointless worries about history and mystery! You just get going with the next item in the list. The less you analyze, the more happy you are!
Is that it? Or am I over-simplifying the problem? When people are running with their lives and don’t stop to think about any problem, are they really happy? Maybe they do not worry at all! Yes I agree! But are they happy?
Well, that’s the question I am trying to figure out the answer for! So, you kinda get busy and forget things in life. But that doesn’t mean that you are really enjoying every moment of your life. Are you?
I do see my husband and dad happy most of the times. But that doesn’t convince me enough!
I simply come back to this same old question in my mind: Wouldn’t it be heart-breaking when on one fine day you suddenly realize that you have been running after so many things you hardly took notice of your own self and find it in a deep shit and you will be like “Aaaaah!! This is not what imagined my life to be!”
Here is where I am struck up: Analyzing things too much is definitely depressing!! But shouldn’t you not stop to think and feel about your life? Or is this is something a characteristic of ‘human-mind’ to seek that attention and self importance? All these feeling and other stuff I am talking about – Is this an illusion of mind ? Or does it really matter for true happiness in life?
I am puzzled! As ever!! :S